Thursday, November 13, 2008

I can not handle debate.

I hate it. I hate confrontation. I especially hate talk shows where people are yelling and screaming their opinions as loud as they can in an attempt to be louder and more outspoken than the other. It really gets under my skin too when people are so blind and so bull headed and stuck in their ways that they are refusing to admit or even acknowledge that perhaps their opinion just may not the only one. I can not stand arrogant, self centered, opinionated people whose thoughts and ideas are far superior to everyone else. The "I told you so" people. Get over yourselves, and mind your own business. The world does not revolve around you.

I unfortunately was in a situation the other day that caused a great deal of anxiety to me. Literally. My heart felt like it was grinding in my chest like gears grinding in a stick shift driven by an impatient teenager. I was nauseated. I was shaking. I felt like I was being tortured from the inside out. And what was happening? Debate. One opinion that was so egotistical that it could run its own country. Another opinion so angry that it could boil metal. End result? Tension so thick that you could cut it with a knife, if it didn't suffocate you first.

I could not handle it. So I left.

I had an epiphany that day. There were two very important questions that I needed to ask myself. First, is this a situation that I need to be involved in? Do I HAVE to be involved? Is this necessary? The answer is no. No I don't. No it isn't. Second, is there anything I can do about this situation? Yes. I can remove myself from it. Plain and simple. 

Upon reflection today, those are two questions that I've been asking myself a lot lately, in a round about way. Is this necessary in my life? No, so get it out of your life. Do I need to be confronted by something trivial? No, so dismiss yourself from the conversation. But then does that make me a coward? Weak? Walking away from any contention? Turning my back and fleeing when faced with opposition? Running away from the opportunity to prove myself? Or does that make me brave? Strong? Knowing where I stand and refusing to be dragged down? Knowing my own truth, and believing in myself that it is unnecessary and a complete waste of time to defend myself to a person who could care less anyway?

But then I guess that only depends on the opinion of the person judging you, yeah?


Deborah said...

I like your thoughts here. I so hate confrontation.

Just so you know....

You've been tagged. See Jaime's The Theiler Five for what that's all about. I tagged you on my Blog yesterday. Looking forward to your response.


Annalea said...

Donna, this is wisdom that few understand . . . that there exists an option to not fight at all. It's liberating and empowering to a far greater degree than any fighting tactic out there.

Debating isn't what was going on when you felt so horrible . . . that was just plain fighting. People use the word "debate" to access an open license to behave unforgivably to one another.

True debate is done calmly, with respect, and in the earnest pursuit of truth.

Thanks so much for sharing this . . . it's a realization that so many others could really use themselves. :o)

P.S.) Could you drop me a line? (You can email me via my Blogger profile.) I came over to your blog because I'd like to email about your post over at the Lose the Belly Blog. Take care . . .